28 Jul Disconnect with Uncertainty Intolerance
Our millennials are our future and we want to give them every chance to succeed and live anxiety-free. We want them to be able to make choices and feel good about the choices. We don’t want them to be so fearful that they stay stuck doing nothing, so they
How can we do this? We can encourage them to live. We can let them know that mistakes are helpful parts of life. We can share our mistake and stories of such with them and help them understand, yes you may fail, but also you may soar. The soaring comes after the failure and that is ok.
Perhaps we have conditioned them to be careful and cling to the known. This seems safe and like the job of a responsible parent. But somewhere in the mix we forgot to encourage them to step out and take chances. There is no certainty. Clinging to certainty is like tossing them a life preserver to go down Niagra Falls. Not realistic or helpful.
We can be helpful when we give them tools to build their uncertainty tolerance. When we encourage them to try and know if they fail, all is not lost. Failure is one step closer to success, as opposed to being the end of the world. There is so much anxiety in having a dream, and not honoring it or exploring it.
How we think about our choices is key. Think now about the best choices you have made, and how they have changed your life. Our kids should begin making choices early in life, so they are comfortable with them as part of life. This way there is not so much anxiety in making choices as adults.
Years ago there was a research project which divided kindergarteners into 2 groups. As they entered their classroom one morning the first group was told to chose a crayon. The second group was given a crayon that they were told their mother chose for them. They were all then asked to color a small shape. The kids that chose their own crayon did a much better job coloring the shape and being excited about it, than the kids whose moms made their choices.
The research is in, kids who grow up making their own choices are much more comfortable as adults making choices and suffer less uncertainty intolerance. A gift from their parents.