The Sociopath Next Door

Have you ever noticed after a heinous crime is conducted, when the media is interviewing neighbors of the accused, they all say ,” he was such a friendly  person . It’s so hard to believe this person could commit such a crime,  he lived a quiet and peaceful life”. Rarely do you hear a neighbor say, he was a horrible person who was hateful and vile. And so , we are reminded that sociopaths are very hard to detect. They are more common than we think, and blend right in with the general population.

I had the honor recently of contributing to an article on this subject, and the research was so interesting, so I thought I would share here on my blog this week. A  few characteristics of a sociopath.

Impression management is their goal . They have excellent communication skills, and don’t have the social inhibitions that are a problem for most people. Sociopaths hide themselves in places no one would suspect them . In the medical field, and in religious groups, because they can offer pseudo nurturance and support . Some are married with children and driving carpool, integrating themselves into society. Many are found climbing the management ladder in organizations. One study says approximately 3% of upper management has sociopathic qualities.

They are likely to create relationships which are beneficial to them. They are the controlling girlfriends, who influence their partners decision making, and get them to  marry. They may be verbally , emotionally and even physically abusive to their spouse . They have children, which complicates things, because when divorce occurs, as it often does , they use their children as pawns to manipulate their ex. They influence what children think about their father, and prevent the father from seeing the kids every chance they get. They never consider the welfare of the children, as they try to maintain control and power over their ex.

They play the victim role very well, and in family matters where the courts are involved , they lie easily and do whatever is necessary to get what they want. For example , inventing stories. They use society’s choice towards mothers to their advantage . They use their charms to achieve their well planned goals . Wealthy men are their frequent victims, and  always end up footing the bill after they have been charmed and unknowingly controlled. Obviously, this could be said of males also.

Sociopaths compose over 1 percent of our society . They navigate life among us unnoticed, and are gifted chameleons. Sociopaths are very charismatic and charming. If their mouths are moving, there is a good chance they are lying. They lie so often, that they actually begin to believe their own lies . Manipulation is their game.

They realize early in life they are missing empathy capabilities and so they mimic those who are empathetic . They do this well because they are great actors. This makes them difficult to detect, because they become expert at pretending to be caring and loving people.

Sociopaths think laws are for everyone but them, and so they break laws. They have a lack of conscious or remorse. They go unnoticed at the gym, at work and at social functions.  They are parents who use their children for their own benefit , with no remorse. They can’t have remorse because they aren’t empathetic . They just pretend they are.

Female sociopaths look different than their male counterparts. They both operate from a determination to manipulate and win type mindset, which is also conscious free. Females sociopaths can be more dangerous, because we don’t see them coming. They slip under society’s radar due to behavioral differences.

Female sociopaths are parasitic, and feel they are entitled to live off of others. They use threats and coercion to get what they want, and quite often , you don’t realize you have been coerced, until it is too late. They express their psychopathology in covert and cunning ways. Their true nature is rarely displayed.

Female sociopaths are more interested in personal gain than the males, and are deceitful and take no responsibility for their actions. A female sociopath flirts in order to manipulate, while the male psychopath is more overt through physical aggression.

Sociopaths don’t feel shame or embarrassment . They externalize blame. It’s always someone else’s fault.

Superficial charm is their game and they have a grandiose sense of self. Overconfident . They are preoccupied with power. They expect to be treated as special at all times, and are frequently boastful of accomplishments . They ignore needs of others, such as physical and emotional needs.

The sociopath works hard to be the center of attention , and often behaves in a way to distract attention away from others and onto them. They arrive late, are over dramatic, and theatrical entrances occur regularly . The sociopath  dictates. It’s their way or the highway. The sociopath believes he has the solution to all problems . He often fishes for compliments and is very dependent on adoration. He refers to self as ” blessed” with a perfect life. A life cunningly arranged.

And so, this is a list of a few attributes describing the sociopath. Do you know one?