The Love Connection

This is not a fun time to write a blog. Not fun at all. It seems so important to be so thoughtful of everyone and well, I am not sure that is always possible. We can do our best but because we are human, we will err and we will fall short. So just know that this blog is written by an imperfect human, trying her best but yes, falling short quite often.

What happens when we fall short? Are we ostracized from the group or bullied by the masses? Maybe all of the above. But also maybe we can give ourselves grace and if we are out there giving ourselves grace and loving ourselves, well then our container is full of love and we are able to share that with others. If I am loving you and you are loving me, how is there any room for anything else? How can we hate? There is no room for hate in a container that is brimming over with love. What’s in your container, maybe your actions are answering that question.

We do know that when we come here to this earth, our container is perfect and full of love and all good things. Then as we live our lives and things begin to happen and other people project their pain and experiences onto us , well , quite simply imprints are made. Who has imprinted on you? What does that feel and look like for you? Are you living your authentic life or that of someone else’s ideals and needs and projections? Has someone else imprinted their pain on you and  have you  been carrying it your whole life and now it is spilling over all over the place?

As humans we are made for connection, yes, I say that alot but we know its true. All the research points that way and when I work with people who are anxious there is often a connection not occurring that is increasing their anxiety. So we call in an expert to help the two ends meet and the connection is achieved and happiness levels rise when the connection is made. What is the disconnect in our world right now ? From where does it flow? Do we  want to connect with but we are letting our pain disconnect us from that possibility? If you are not the problem then there is no solution. Own it and fix it and stop pointing the fingers.

Everybody wants to be heard but we can’t all be heard at the same time. I’ve go to listen to you and be a student of your longings and then you have to hold space for mine. That is how we connect and then trust and connection are built. But when everyone is yelling no one is listening and no progress is being made.

So how can we listen when our labels separate us? When I am not willing to consider what you are saying because of a label you are prefacing your comment with or a label you are assigning to yourself or me that separates us due to value judgments. Labels are judgement values and they are centuries old. If we want to see real change we are going to ALL have to step out of our comfort zone and drop the labels we assign to one another and to ourselves that we think are keeping us safe. They are instead disconnecting us. There is bias in the labels. We will not move forward one inch until we let go of the bias which is our labels. In fact, we will keep sliding further into the abyss and you know what Martin Luther King said about that, “We must learn to live together as brothers or all perish as fools.” At the moment we are moving in the wrong direction.

Change is possible. It begins with you and it begins with me and it takes courage.