There are particular traits that those with healthy personalities have. One of these traits is agreeableness. Do you agree that agreeableness is a lovely thing? Is there someone in your life that no matter what you say, they object? Argumentative, forceful and constantly pushing their personal agenda. Anything but agreeable.
This can be so very discouraging. Being in a relationship with someone who is open and has a willingness to listen and hear is so refreshing.
How do you know when you are in the presence of a disagreeable person? Control is paramount for them. Rigid and complaining. They might complain about everything, and invalidate every word out of your mouth. A stubborn or suspicious person. The one who only sees the negative.
If you want to be a healthy person. You would need to let go of the above behaviors. Why do some choose not to give them up? Part of the reason for this is, they tell themselves the story that there is a particular way that things should happen and a distinct way a story should unfold. And wouldn’t you know it happens to be their way, and anything less to them is just not acceptable. Or agreeable.
They are in denial about a basic fact of human nature. We are all different . Each unique and each with our independent ways of thinking. It’s what makes the world go around . Differences. How boring would it be if we were all just alike?
These disagreeable people are likely competitive. They have the “I’m right, you are wrong” mindset. If your thinking does not match mine, then there is something wrong with you. If one of us has to be incorrect, guess which role you will play in this scenario with the disagreeable person?
Self absorption begins in toddlerhood. Most outgrow it and learn there is not a place for selfishness in society. Healthy development into adulthood requires maturity, which does not include “my way or the highway”. Most of us learn you have to place nice with others. Disagreeable people can not govern their self-absorption.
The opposite of agreeable, is the person who thinks everything has to be their way in order for them to be comfortable in their life, and their comfort is the goal. Words like tolerance and compromise, are not in their vocabulary. They need their priorities to be yours, and their way to be your way. No sense of fair play.
Compassion, cooperation and pleasant are attributes that are not part of the disagreeable persons persona. Being agreeable is the person that can allow room for differences. Uniqueness brings cohesion. This sort of variety causes a smooth flow. A pleasant experience.
Agreeable people are committed to modesty, which is a form of strength. An agreeable person’s value goes up when they are gentle and kind. Being agreeable means you are other focused, and your world does not revolve around you. Others needs are important and recognizing them is considerate.
An agreeable person enjoys being a positive part of your day. They like to be the pleasant part of your day. The agreeable person is safe, and offers this gift to those they spend time with. Self monitoring and restraint are imperative for the agreeable person.
Don’t mistake assertiveness as not being agreeable . Speaking up about our truths is done in a way that is constructive and done in a dignified manner.It is done with mutual respect.
Who do you want to be when you are engaging with others? Do you want them to leave an interaction with you knowing that they value you ? If you meet this agreeable person who makes your life flow easier and considers you, keep them. Let the others go. Stick with people who pull the joy out of you. Don’t try to change disagreeable people, change your direction, let them see your back as you walk away .