We are all out there just bumping into each others wounds. If you know me, I say this alot. Most often I say it when someone tells me about a person in their lives who has upset them. I also like to say , well, they are just people being people. To me , those are perfect explanations of the reality of some others in our lives.
Did you ever think that some people in our lives were perfect examples of what to avoid? These people taught us that not everyone we trust will be loyal, and not everyone we love will stay. Its true. Painful but true.
Sometimes we absolutely can’t understand why our relationship with someone is not working. Maybe a friend who treats us poorly. Sometimes people are in our lives for only a season. The problem for us is when we don’t know the difference in the lifetimers and the seasonal friends. We keep people in our lives far past their expiration date and things get messy. They were only meant to be there a season, and we are trying to keep them forever. This never works out well.
If someone doesn’t wish to remain in your life. Let them go. Be grateful for the time you had with that person. Be grateful for the lessons you learned from them. Even if the relationship was toxic, you learned something. You learned what you don’t want to have in your next relationship. Now avoid that. Use that knowledge to build a better life for yourself. Thank them for their part in this.
There are some relationships that are one sided after while. You become totally exhausted in them, trying to make them work. Let them go. You can’t control others and if they wish to go , let them. Wish them well and thank them for the lessons you have learned in your life because of them. Use your pain for a purpose. Grow from it. Make it worthwhile. Some people in our lives are like branches, when we step out there on them, they break. They are not reliable. We were never supposed to think they were. We depended on them far more than they were capable of delivering.
Maya Angelo says, when someone shows you their real self the first time, believe them. Stop trying so hard to make them something they are not. Stop trying to put a round peg in a square space. It doesn’t work. It will never work. Stop thinking if you just do this or do that , the relationship will be better. It wont. Get off the hamster wheel. It’s so exhausting there. Use your energy elsewhere for your good. Letting go is so much harder than hanging on sometimes. Do it anyway.
There are people who allow others who were only supposed to be in their lives for a season, to remain . Their expectations are never met. They don’t understand why they are having so many problems in their lives. They are trying to be with a person that should have been seasonal, for a life time. Don’t get upset with the person. They were never to be more to you than they are. You did not accept that. That is why you have no peace in your life. You allowed them to overstay their welcome. Their expirations date is passed.
It’s funny how a few years down the road , the people we thought we could not live without, we can’t recall anything significant about them or the friendship. Time has a way of healing wounds. Go ahead and let the clock start ticking toward healing your wounds. Next year, your life will be richer and you won’t remember them . You will have moved on. Then you run into them a few years later and you wonder what you were thinking. How could you have been so distraught over losing this person. You question your decision to be with that person ever. You have learned to be by yourself. You have learned to love yourself. Be grateful.